There was this one time Grand Dame came to pick me up from baby college. I was in the middle of luncheon, suckling from a synthetic breastfeeding device. Grand Dame had news.
"You’ve been selected," she told me, "for the International Baby Fights." I lifted my head away from the breastfeeder and said, "Grand Dame, you can’t be serious."
"It is a sacred tradition," she said. "We must protect our sacred traditions. Plus, you must feel honored." Honestly, I didn’t know what to feel.
some fucken naked lunch shit